The importance of friendship


Tiger Mother catches her 15-year-old moderately deaf daughter Hayley up late, but is pleased to find out why…

I peek around Hayley’s bedroom door expecting to be greeted by the sound of gentle snoring, but it’s quiet and there’s a little tell-tale glow illuminating the room.

“Hayley is in bed texting when she should be well asleep”

Hayley is in bed texting when she should be well asleep. What! She’s a nightmare to get up in the morning for school as it is!

But I take a deep breath before I start yelling. She gets caught out because, unlike her younger brother Harry, who hears me coming up the stairs and swiftly shoves his phone under his pillow, Hayley can’t hear me after she’s removed her hearing aids for the night.

Bit unfair really. So I just keep it to an annoyed but calm approach instead.

Texting in bed

And Hayley is so pleased about something she doesn’t even have time to get defensive and grumpy with me.

‘But Mum, it’s one of the girls I made friends with at the weekend – she texted me!’

I can see Hayley’s beaming smile in the glow of her screen. And I can’t be cross anymore because I’m really pleased for her.

“Hayley struggles with friendships”

Hayley struggles with friendships and has had a really awful time over the years, especially at school where for a long while she was stuck in a group of girls, some of whom were quite vile to her. It destroyed what little self-esteem she had and she’d literally spend hours sobbing some evenings after a particularly horrible day.

So when an NDCS Get Creative Drama weekend came up, I booked her onto it. Hayley’s had some great times on NDCS events before and always comes home buoyant and more confident.

She thoroughly enjoyed the Drama weekend, where about 16 deaf youngsters, aged 11-15 years old, stayed in a lovely residential lodge and did activities.

They worked with a theatre group, taking part in drama, acting and storytelling. Over the two days they developed a play, created the plot, script and characters and when we families arrived to collect them, we were treated to a master performance.

It was fantastic to watch them, all these kids, most of whom didn’t know anyone else when they arrived, come together and perform some brilliant sketches in the manner of an old silent comedy film.

They’d clearly all worked hard rehearsing to get their miming and comedy timing right, but it was lovely that they were obviously enjoying themselves and totally comfortable in each other’s company.

“It was so lovely to see Hayley in the thick of it for once”

When the sounds of devoted parental applause finally faded, it was time for them to get their bags and go. But first came a frenzied scurrying round as they all said their goodbyes, hugged new friends and exchanged phone numbers – and it was so lovely to see Hayley in the thick of it for once, others coming to seek her out for goodbye hugs and phone number exchanges too.

‘Just five more minutes, please?’ begs Hayley from the depths of her duvet.

‘Go on then,’ I say, and shut the door.

Some things are more important than a bit of shut eye, and friendship is one of them.

Please note the image is not of Hayley.